When I say I don’t really watch TV I mean it. It’s mainly because I don’t understand my new television, and cannot figure out which of the 7 remotes I need to use to make it give me a moving picture. I am aware this statement savors strongly of a geriatric-style rant and puts the feather in my Luddite cap, but I wish to redeem myself by stating that I do have one show that I just really enjoy. The quality, the thought provoking, the inspirational,
The Cake Boss.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. If it were to be made a drinking game, and a sip was in order each time Buddy shouted the word "Fondant!" everyone would be delightfully sloshed on cheap Italian wine within minutes. For bearing the name Buddy with so little visible symptoms of self-angst and shame, you have my esteem. For maintaining that high level of intensity and pitch in your voice, you have my amazement. For using pounds and pounds of edible sweets to make unorthodox figurines on cakes, never to be actually eaten, you have my astonishment. And anyone who can make a life-sized cake in the image and likeness of your own wife and stomach the sight of it, has my congratulations.
People think it is easy to be The Cake Boss. People think his hair just looks like that when he gets out of the shower, and that the Jersey accent flows naturally. People think that making a cake that looks and flushes like a real toilet is old hat. Work, it all takes unimaginable amounts of work. Let me tell you, the only unrehearsed thing about the show is the nature of Italian drama. If Moonstruck has taught me anything, (and don’t even try to tell me it hasn’t) it’s that Italian hands move independent of the brain, if you are not yelling about something you are lying, that families are tight-knit, and bad-blood can rip your heart out and your hand off—and that Nick Cage, at one point in time, had real promising talent.
People used to think that cakes were for eating, and that asking for “chocolate” was more than enough of a sufficient description. The Cake Boss astutely maneuvers through all of the antiquated ideas of sweets, shattering them with a rolling pin and an Italian Momma-style cheek slap, and recreates the norm to a level of pyrotechnics and fresco paintings.
If you are still in doubt about the unique talent of this TV Show, let me finish convincing you with a few choice episode titles and descriptions:
“Museum, Mistakes, and Mother Mary”
“The shop goes to the American Museum of Natural History to acquire reference for a prehistoric mammal cake; a sweet 16 cake proves to be more work than anyone planned on; Frankie makes and decorates a cake all by himself for Mary's daughter's dance recital.”
“A Blindfold, A Bikini, and Breathing Fire”
“A customer orders a tiki cake that emits fire and a cake for his sister-in-law's bridal shower. Also, Mauro challenges him to ice a cake blindfolded, lest he be forced to come to the bakery dressed in a grass skirt and coconut bra.”
"Aquarium Adventures and An Announcement"
“Buddy adds live fish to an underwater-themed cake ordered by an aquarium to celebrate its birthday. Lisa and Remy make a special announcement to Buddy, who can't wait to tell the rest of the family.”
"Tournament of Knights and a Tasty Tiramisu”
“Buddy's Italian speaking skills are put to the test as he has to make an authentic tiramisu for a client who has family visiting from Italy. In addition, a knight from Medieval Times comes to the bakery to ask for a cake for his king and queen, and challenges Buddy to a joust .”
"Chopped Head and a Crazy Cravings Cake"
“Buddy has to make a cake for a Marie Antoinette party, a "cravings" cake for his sister, Lisa Gonzalez, for her baby shower. Mauro faces a short health care crisis. The rest of the clan is concerned while Mauro claims it to be ‘no big deal.’”
"Hieroglyphics, Hearse and Happy Parents"
“A funeral hearse is made for a surprise cake. A mother and daughter cannot agree on a theme for a Sweet 16 cake, with one desiring an Egyptian theme, and the other a more girlish fashion-oriented theme. An animal-themed cake is made for an Indian baby shower.”
"Barbers and Bulls"
“Buddy wants to make a cake for the barbershop where he has been getting his hair cut since he was a kid in honor of their anniversary. Also, Buddy and the team are asked to create a mechanical bull cake, complete with movement.”
“Toilets and Textiles”
“A plumbing supply company asks Buddy to make a toilet bowl cake with one special condition -- the cake must actually flush. A nightclub owner who's a fan of denim requests a baby shower cake -- that looks like denim. Meanwhile, someone in the bakery has accidentally made a tiered cake with uneven tiers; with the cake on a deadline, Buddy demands who's at fault.”
I rest my cake?
Oh Clare this made my day....I too am hooked on the boss ;) last week, or it may have been the week before, he made a cake for NASA that he actually got to blast of.... whoa Buddy..a little OOC if you ask me :) My favorite parts of the show are when he is talking to the camera and I'm always half expecting one of his neck veins to pop when he talks in his usual Italian gusto.
ReplyDeleteYou write very well. You are also probably a better baker than the Cake Boss.
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